Lockie (Lachlan Robert Louis Stevenson Leonard)
Board Riders' Association (BRA) President
Best Dancing Couple winner
Mothers refer to Lockie as 'that nice boy with the surfing addiction'. He is a pretty decent-looking bloke and he is generally polite and knows how to keep himself clean and tidy, with only one zit that moves around his face. He is an optimist and sees hope in things. He is no genius, but knows how lucky he is.
likes: hot baths, practising tumble turns in the bath, Mambo t-shirts, Billabong shirts, Guitar Hero magazine, summer, fluoro yellow, dolphins, surfing, Mark Richards Quad-Fin surfboards.
favourite music: Silverchair, the Cruel Sea, Pearl Jam, Bjork, Soundgarden, Blundstones, the Cranberries, Joan Osborne, the Spindoctors, Van Halen, Joe Satriani, The Big Blue, Stevie Ray Vaughan, Midnight Oil.
nicknames: human torpedo, swamp rat.
favourite foods: spag bog (spaghetti bolognese), Weetbix with lots of milk and an overripe banana, yoghurt, Milo.
achievements: winner of 5 surfing competitions held by the Angelus Board Riders' Association.
hobbies: building sharkproof swimming machines, saving the harbour, surfing.
favourite tv show: Northern Exposure.
dislikes: bogans, colonic irrigation, dermatitis, Nan and Pop, the smell of hospitals, pink rubber gloves, sharks, Phillip's piddly PJs, football, high school enrolment day, maths, team sports, pimples, getting stuck in rubbish bins, show and tell, Madonna, seaweed, Kylie Minogue, ZITS, Youth Group.
fears: dancing, Vicki Streeton, being beaten up by big, hairy bogans like Curtis.
Myspace URL: http://www.myspace.com/lockieleonard
Senior Sergeant Leonard (Sarge)
The Sarge is the sort of copper who reads books. He is Lockie's dad and is kind of skinny and good looking, but with a daggy grin. As the local police sergeant, he tries to hold poetry readings in the lock-up and he confuses the whole town. He says that if only people read poetry and washed their hands after going to the toilet, then the crime rate would fall away.
likes: poetry books, abstract analogies, Clancy of the Overflow, making Easter eggs, Bluelight discos, Treasure Island, Creedence Clearwater Revival, Neil Young.
dislikes: sarcasm, crime, washing up.
wears: odd socks, aviator sunglasses, police uniforms.
fears: running out of rhymes.
Mrs Leonard (Joy)
Lockie's mum is a serious sort. She likes to be involved; she is concerned and conscientious. She likes having 'Deep and Meaningfuls' on any topic: homework, drugs, peer group pressure.
likes: lectures, parent effectiveness training group, pashminas, family photos, knitting, bread-boy, keeping in touch.
dislikes: disposable nappies, broken washing machines, burnt loaves of bread, 'dotty days', polluted harbours.
nicknames: Captain Planet.
fears: hurting people's feelings, people looking at her bum and thinking that it is too big.
He is Lockie's kid brother. Phillip is a small kid, soft-looking and sensitive. A budding scientist, he struggles with wetting the bed, and annoys Lockie by snoring and smacking his lips while he is sleeping.
birthday: 8 September
likes: Lisa, Lockie's Silverchair tape, lip-smacking, science experiments, bacon and eggs, playing 'three blind mice' on the recorder, blowing up Ninja Turtles, Cyril, breakfast, the Big Bang, kissing oranges, jubes, Feng Shui.
dislikes: wetting the bed, ice-cream soup, green jelly babies.
favourite TV shows: The Simpsons, Alf, Captain Chicken.
fears: wetting the bed until he is 110.
Blob (Barbara Leonard)
Nan and Pop think there is something wrong with Blob. They say, "she can't walk, can't talk; I hear she crawls backwards." Lockie knows that Blob is fine though: she just has weird eating habits.
age: 15 months
eats: lino, wallpaper, envelopes (stamp and all!), index fingers, dish-mops, Phillip's baseball cards, Play-Doh, school bag handles, lounge.
favourite pastimes: crawling backwards, drooling, filling her nappies, gnawing wallpaper.
smells like: a compost heap.
Cyril is the Leonards' family pet. He would have led a life of crime if it wasn't for the Sarge adopting him and turning his life around. The lanolin oil from his wool assists Phillip in his quest to stop wetting the bed.
likes: eating grass and washing, chasing Phillip, following Phillip to school.
Best Dancing Couple winner
Vicki is the sharpest, toughest, prettiest girl in Lockie's class, probably the whole school. She has striking green eyes, kinky long brown hair with steaks of sun, and glinting braces. She is a ballet dancer, but only because her mother makes her.
birthday: 8 September
likes: the Lemonheads, souped up cars, black poodles, fishing, falling asleep in front of the telly, Oprah Winfrey's dog, Sting, Whoopee Goldberg, Tom Selleck, the West Coast Eagles, flowers, hand painted Reeboks, Yahoo Serious.
favourite TV shows: Neighbours, Degrassi High, Dr Who.
favourite foods: Milo, red apples, Cherry Ripes, nachos, hot chips swimming in vinegar.
dislikes: ballet, her parents fighting, immaturity, dumb surfies.
smells like: vanilla ice cream and strawberry topping.
siblings: a sister who married a dipstick, and Monster, her brother.
Myspace URL: http://www.myspace.com/vickistreeton
Barry and Sally Streeton
"Streetons for Ford. Streets Ahead"
Barry is Mayor of Angelus and owner of Streeton Motors
He is the kind of man with all money and no taste.
likes: bricks and mortar, the property ladder, business and cash-flow.
Sally is a housewife and first lady of Angelus She always offers Lockie food but rarely speaks to him. She looks young, but she is kind of scraggy and tired, with hard thin lips. She is smart, but seems bitter at times as though life has not been kind.
likes: playing tennis and golf.
Egg (Geoff Eggleston)
Egg is Lockie's best friend, even though he is a bogan and a metal head. He has a severe fear of swimming and sharks, and is prone to getting depressed but, overall, he is a really good guy.
likes: Richard Nixon, Sid Vicious, inventing words, Bon Scott, chocolate milk, winter, serious black, dung beetles, stick on tattoos, protesting for the environment, playing air guitar.
wears: black desert boots, flannel shirts, grimy black jeans.
favourite tv show: Roseanne.
dislikes: cricket, his hammer toes, Boof, Youth Group, Whacko Jacko, organised sport, Reeboks.
favourite bands: DeciBells, Black Sabbath, King's X, Deep Purple, Led Zeppelin, Anthrax, Steve Vai, Megadeth, Iron Maiden, Judas Priest, Living Colour, Alice in Chains, Fishbone, Galactic Cowboys, Spinal Tap.
distinguishing marks: hammer toes (two of his toes on each foot are joined together!)
MySpace URL: http://www.myspace.com/geoffeggleston
Secretary for the Women's Welding Association
Egg's mum is really intense and doesn't bother with small talk. She isn't actually that friendly, but she really knows what she is doing with an oxy torch.
likes: welding, metal sculptures, burping, Coca-Cola.
dislikes: dresses, cooking, Rev's sermons.
Egg's dad is the local reverend. He is a guy with a lot of heart, always striving to write the perfect sermon. He has a hard time though. He and Mrs Eggleston don't get along anymore and he is largely misunderstood by his parishioners. He likes to wear cardigans and an earring.
likes: writing sermons, religious jokes, Hot Omelette, Barry Manilow.
Dot is John East's niece. She is a total spunk and hot surfer. She has a smooth, tanned face, split in a smile, white teeth, a body like an Olympic swimmer, or a tri-athlete, and wears one-piece Speedos and pigtails. When she is out of the water she wears surf t-shirts with the sleeves cut out and board shorts.
She is muscly and mobile and has perfect wave judgement. She surfs like a total natural, as though no one else in the world exists.
smells like: sunscreen, shampoo and conditioner.
likes: surfing, cartoons, basketball.
dislikes: running laps, environment meetings.
He is a tough kid, a bit like an old fridge with the paint peeling off. Boof's parents are bikers and he is the town bully. Lockie's arrangement with Boof is simple; he gives Lockie grief and Lockie out surfs him.
dislikes: kids from the city.
embarrassing moments: being caught kissing mullets.
He is a truly vile creature: built like a rainwater tank - tall, round and corrugated. He sounds like someone has thumped his side with a stick when he is angry: vibrating, with brown dandruff coming off him like rust. He is Lockie's Maths teacher, and the footy coach.
likes: orange shirts, ties: circa 1970, orange cardigans, footy coaching.
dislikes: students not calling him 'Sir'.
Lisa is a police constable in Angelus. She enjoys science and BBQs, which makes her a perfect catch for Phillip.
likes: cooking, basketball, making her own clothes, jet skiing, kick boxing, rebuilding truck engines, green jelly babies, John East.
John East, Guidance Officer
He hangs around the school, but he isn't a teacher. He gives advice, but doesn't dish out work or punishment. John East is also the hairiest man on earth, with a back like a shag pile carpet.
likes: sleeping in on the school holidays, Italian boots, surfing and Lisa.
Nan and Pop
Nan and Pop are over-tanned, straight-out hard-core, single-minded completely nutso golfers. They reside at Silver Links, a dinky retirement estate that not only has its own golf course but the houses are more or less on the links itself.
age: 110 at least.
likes: golf, plaid pants, yellow cardigans and tracksuits, two-tone shoes, tartan golf bags, talking about their bowels, handicaps, pars, bogies and buggies.
diet: bran, wheat-germ, prunes.
dislikes: the smell of Angelus, not being able to drive, visiting Joy in hospital.